Bar Rafaeli is Single – #$%*@#$(!!!!!!!!!!

Oh thank you Flying Spaghetti Monster! I knew my prayers to you would pay off, and yes, you are very pretty. Especially when there’s some cheese on you. And perhaps salt. Do you have a fork by chance? NY Daily News reports:

The light-switch romance of Leo DiCaprio and Bar Refaeli is off again, we hear.

The “Titanic” star and the Israeli supervixen have been partying apart over the past few weeks.

Even now, a reconciliation may be afoot. They’ve been spotted the last couple of nights at Marquee and 1Oak. Which means you might see her on his arm by the premiere of his “Body of Lies” next month and “Revolutionary Road” in December.

I’m just going to choose to believe that, that last paragraph was completely made-up and shares a townhouse with Santa Clause and Jesus. Anywho, Bar is right to dump “the greatest actor of our generation.” She doesn’t need someone who is viewed the world over as one of the most talented actors alive as well as being lusted after by women the world over. And who’s also insanely rich. What she needs is um… ah, son of a bitch. Do you any of you people remember my points about how I’m a hundred times better than Leo, and that is why I deserve to have naked pirate adventures with Ms. Rafaeli?