For the first time in its history, Us Magazine has reported on something that didn’t make the Universe almost tear in half. The bust size of Christina Aguilera’s enormous boobs. Does Us deserve a Pulitzer? Is Grey’s Anatomy incredibly stupid? Us:
In the new annual Hot Bodies issue of Us Weekly, new mom Christina Aguilera — who welcomed son Max in January — shares the diet and workout secrets behind her 40 pounds weight loss (see more post-baby bods here).
In the interview, she also finally addresses the famous growth in her chest that came from breastfeeding.
“It’s kind of hilarious! I’ve never fit into an E-cup before,” she tells Us. “I look at my husband and go, ‘Guess what size this bra is?’ And when I tell him, he’s just amazed. We keep the tags that prove it, to look back for memory’s sake!”
E-cup? Sweet crap. What’s even better is that Christina is still really hot and does not have to weigh 700 lbs to achieve such large boobs. She just had to give a lot of money to a surgeon and get pregnant. Part II of that equation was where that son of a bitch Jordan BratIhopeyoudie comes in. While the rest of the male world was stocking up on Kleenex and Jergens, that asshole was plowing the bejesus out of Ms. My Rack is Fucking Huge. But let’s not dwell on that tragedy. Let’s focus on the women following Christina Aguilera’s lead and getting huge boobs by way of some slicing and dicing, and a sperm invasion. I for one am more than willing to help the ladies with the second part, but there is of course the “Me Running to Mexico” stipulation post-coitus. Those crafty Mexicans and their alluding the law.
- Bluto -