Dancing with the Stars Spoiler: Winner = ……

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! People:

After five seasons of watching the men win Dancing with the Stars, Kristi Yamaguchi broke the curse and raised the mirror-ball trophy in triumph for the ladies.

“I love it! I guess ‘k’ is a good initial to have,” Yamaguchi gushed to host Tom Bergeron moments after she and partner Mark Ballas learned they had won.

Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I found a peanut. Huh? What’s that you say Bill? This post is supposed to be about Kristi Yamaguchi winning Dancing with the Star? Well I don’t give a shit about that, that show is fucking retarded. Now goddammit Bill, get back in the gene-splicing chamber so I can continue testing my theory on the awesomeness of a half-man, half-sea turtle.

Before he had to be rushed to the hospital, Bill relayed that the village folk were wondering why I posted this story with a ultra-sexified picture of my beloved Gisele. After I threw a piranha at his face I told him it’s because Gisele is 700 million times hotter than Kristi Yamasomething. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go and prepare the plague outbreak I’m about to unleash onto the town for asking such a stupid question.

- Bluto -