Han Solo Banged Princess Leia

Apparently, in between blowing up Death Stars and shaving wookies Harrison Ford crushed Carrie Fisher’s wookie, and by that I mean he pounded the hell out of her snooch. Fisher says that during the making of the first Star Wars film she and Ford had a bit of a tryst, or penis – vagina interaction if you will. The Sun says:

Now, after decades of rumours, she finally spills the beans on her relationship with ever-hunky Harrison, 63, who played Han Solo. She tells Justin Lee Collins in new C4 show Bring Back . . . Star Wars: “I went on the film saying ‘I’m going to have an affair’, like it was a kiwi, an exotic fruit — because I’d never had one!” She adds: “I had a crush on Harrison for sure. Harrison is great fun when he’s had a few drinks.” Shaking her head and saying: “I’m going to get in so much trouble,” she adds: “Once I left the room and came back and he was in the closet not wearing a lot of clothes.”

Star Wars geeks the world over are tearing down their Han Solo shrines in a jealous rage. Never has their mom’s basement seen such fury for long have they masturbated dreamed of punishing Princess Leia’s Holiest of Holies. They may not know what it is or how it works but they have been whacking off envisioning coitus with the Princess of Alderaan since 1977. And now, once again, they have to face the realization that Indiana Jones is 7,000,000 times better than them and his AARP card is still cooler than their fake ID.