Jennifer Lopez’s Ass Attacks a Super Tanker

Ok, so that vessel may not be a super oil tanker, but my concrete scientific research that I have yet to start is not finished, so until then, we must play it safe and assume that JLo’s thunderous glutes are about to devour 300,000 tons of oil-hauling steel. If this is the case, does that mean we can drill JLo for oil? Because I’d like to nominate myself for that assignment.

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