Jessica Alba Gives Birth to Baby Girl

Jessica Alba and her son of a bitch husband welcomed a baby girl, Honor Marie Warren, late Saturday night in Los Angeles. Us reports:

Honor Marie Warren was born Saturday at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles.

Alba’s father was overheard saying “she’s beautiful.” Warren — in a T-shirt, jeans and baseball cap — was spotted carrying food into the maternity ward Sunday.

Alba, 26, and Warren, 28, announced they were expecting last December.

Honor? Alright then. Well, congratulations to Mrs. Alba and her healthy baby who will be the desire of every man on the planet in 18 years should Cash Warsonofabitchren’s seed hold up to Alba’s spectacular genes. Congratulations are not in order for said son of a bitch as he is still responsible for taking away the carefree, more than likely wild as all hell in the sack Jessica Alba, and transforming her into the calm, motherly role she will now fulfill. What a selfish asshole. Luckily, he gets to look forward to chasing every man in the Union down the street with a shotgun in about two decades.

- Bluto -