Leonardo DiCaprio dumped Bar Refaeli

bar-refaeli-pink-bikini-3

Well, this is good news. For me. Because I can finally lay down my sweet moves. I totally have a legitimate chance at landing Bar Refaeli… Dammit. People:

On-again off-again couple Leonardo DiCaprio and Bar Refaeli have called it quits once more, sources confirm to PEOPLE.
“They’re taking time off for the time being, they’ve split,” says a source. “It could just end up as a break but for now they’re doing their own thing.”
That much was certainly apparent over the weekend as the Israeli-born Sports Illustrated swimsuit model, 23, walked the red carpet at Hollywood Life’s 11th Annual Young Hollywood Awards solo, refusing to speak about DiCaprio, while the Titanic star, 34, hit the hotspot Avenue in New York City, where he was seen chatting with another woman.
“He was standing at the bar in front of everyone talking to a girl the entire night – and it wasn’t Bar,” says one onlooker. “It was in no way behavior for a guy who has a serious girlfriend.” (DiCaprio and Refaeli were then reportedly photographed together in Los Angeles on Monday night.)
According to a Refaeli source, the model’s desire to get serious may have caused the actor to have doubts about their relationship. “She wanted to move faster than he did, she wanted to move in together,” the source says, “so he broke it off.”

This is normally the time where I say I sympathize with my fellow man, but Leonardo DiCaprio can go fuck himself. That jackass has perhaps the greatest existence in the world: the best actor of his generation, obscenely rich, and women swoon over him and those women include the world’s hottest supermodels. What a dick. He throws supermodels to the side like they’re Lindt truffle wrappers while I’m stuck here with my battalion supply of Kleenex Sears Roebuck catalog models. Why’s he gotta do this to me? Flaunting his superiority all up over there and in my face. Well I am still a member of the common people, and if Bar Refaeli doesn’t want to support the common people by way of her vagina, then she is clearly a terrorist and should be imprisoned. In my bedroom. Naked. For all the sex torturing.