Lindsay Lohan is a Coke Fiend, Again

Raise your hand if you saw this coming — Dammit, Jenkins, stop elbowing me in the cornea. Star reports:

It’s been less than a year since Lindsay Lohan left rehab — but friends and family members are frantic that she’s on the fast track to another drug and alcohol-driven breakdown.
“Lindsay’s been drinking, doing cocaine and causing all-around mayhem for the past few months,” an insider tells Star. “She quit going to Alcoholics Anonymous and has absolutely never taken recovery seriously. She’s gotten progressively worse, and everyone in her life is really scared.”

I wonder if any of the drug cartels have ever thought of using Lindsay as advertisement — “Lindsay Lohan is the greatest party train since John Belushi. She can drink goddammit Jose! You weren’t supposed to bring the donkey in until we got to the part about six shots and a gram of white and Lindsay’s bra will be hanging above you all night! Shit, start from fade-in, and somebody get Juanita a carrot!” Colombia: professional, classy, and absolutely “no chance” of you getting your nuts blown off for falling beind in certain payments.