Rihanna is fucking retarded part 1

If you were feeling any pity towards Rihanna for getting the shit kicked out of her by her “boyfriend”, you can go ahead and stop now. TMZ:

LAPD cops interviewed Rihanna after the attack and she told them Brown had been violent toward her in the past and that the attacks were getting “more violent” as time went on. The interview is potent evidence if the L.A. County D.A. charges Brown with felony domestic battery, and that could happen as early as today.

Oh, wait, the fairytale gets better. National Enquirer:

”Rihanna was applying makeup to her right eye, which I noticed looked puffy and discolored. Her friend said, ‘You’re eye looks [EXPLETIVE] up! He’s an [EXPLETIVE]! Why do you put up with him and let him hit you?’
“Rihanna told her, ‘It’s not his fault. When he hurts me, he’s a beast, but then he turns into my angel … He’ll hit me and then feel bad afterwards, but then he turns into the sweetest man and becomes my angel. He’ll cry like a little baby when he makes it up to me, and that’s the part I love.’”

Apparently, no one ever told Captain Moron that you are not supposed to jump into the water around Seal Island if you are covered in blood and chum. Seriously, how dumb is this chick? If you shoot yourself in the leg you don’t keep shooting yourself in the hopes that your first wound heals. If your “boyfriend” beats the shit out of you, you don’t turn around and have sex with him because he’s all sunshine and rainbow kisses when his penis is inside of you. What you do is get your brothers to break his fucking skull and find a new penis to play around with. Idiot.