Shia LaBeouf is Ok to Drink & Drive

In news that is shocking to no one, the “law enforcement” of Los Angeles has declared that actor Shia LaBeouf was not at fault in an accident in which his truck ended up on its roof, even though he was bombed out of his mind. AP reports:

Shia LaBeouf was not to blame for an early-morning car wreck in Los Angeles, authorities said Tuesday, pinning fault on the other driver for apparently running a red light.

Also Tuesday, a person close to production of the “Transformers” sequel said LaBeouf’s passenger in the accident was Isabel Lucas, the 23-year-old Australian who plays a supporting role. The person asked not to be named because he was not authorized to release the information.

Sheriff’s spokesman Steve Whitmore says detectives have determined that the other driver, who has not been identified, ran the light and will also be cited. LaBeouf was booked for a misdemeanor DUI and underwent surgery for injuries to his left hand.

So remember kids, if you’re going to drink and drive, make sure you live in Los Angeles. And just to make sure you get the best experience, have a dead hooker in your lap with a kilo of cocaine poured over her head. That shit will put the police into hysterics.

- Bluto -