Spencer “I’m a Giant Tool” Pratt Says Lauren Conrad Sex Tape Real

Despite denials from Lauren Conrad’s ex Jason something Wahler that a sex tape of the two does not exist, the number 1 contender for “Biggest Douche in the Universe” Spencer Pratt is not backing down from his claims. Us Magazine says:

Spencer Pratt is sticking to his story that a Lauren Conrad-Jason Wahler sex tape existed.

Wahler told Usmagazine.com Wednesday morning: “I do not have a sex tape of Lauren Conrad and one does not exist. Spencer Pratt is lying again to get attention.”

But Pratt countered to Us Wednesday afternoon: “Jason’s statement couldn’t be more transparent. Notice how he uses present tense, ‘I DO not have a sex tape… one DOES not exist.’”

“We all know that it existed, that he tried to sell it and is now covering up to make himself look better,” Pratt added.

And the most important issue of our age continues to grow. Presidential Election? Please. Genocide in Darfur? Ha, yea right. Global Warming? What is this amateur hour? Whether or not that one chick from The Hills has a sex-tape runs laps around those issues. Now let’s analyze the claims from the “Vortex of Douche” Spencer Pratt and Lauren’s ex-vagina-rammer Jason something. Firstly, Spencer went on Tyra Banks’ show and said that ahahahahahahahahaha…… almost made it. Turns out that I care more about watching my dog lick itself than I do about this crap.

- Bluto -