I generally don’t condone death threats, but she is really, really stupid.  Star:

Things are so bad that Nadya’s spokesperson says the single mom and her six oldest children had to stay in a secure location last week as a safety precaution. “When the risk was determined it was no longer a high threat, we were able to leave that location,” publicist Joann Killeen, who was also targeted, said on Thursday’s Dr. Phil show.

Just in case you weren’t entirely sure that this jackass was completely insane:

One person who probably won’t be offering babysitting services is Nadya’s celeb look-a-like, Angelina Jolie. A source close to Angie tells the Chicago Sun Times that Jolie is “creeped out” by the Octo Mom. The insider claims Nadya had even reached out to Angelina, a mother of six, via fan letters!

Would it really be so bad is she wasn’t allowed to raise these kids?  I think the police should just look the other way on this one.  I’m fairly certain they’d be better off if they were raised by a trash can.

Just when you think you’re among the quality people, someone comes along to put you back into your place.  Seacrest seems to have been on a roll as of late, too.  He…  Um… Did that one thing…  And that other show, over there…  OK, I admit it, I literally have no idea why Ryan Seacrest is famous.  All I know is that he’s a microphone-holding monkey for the E! network, and he comes off his a smarmy, annoying jackass.  So you can imagine how much I laughed as I watched someone who thought he was a star get his balls taken away by two of the biggest stars around.

In a related story, if Angelina Jolie would also like to take my balls away I will fully support her endeavor.

Angelina Jolie continued to repopulate the entire Western Hemisphere by giving birth to twins, a boy and a girl, Saturday night by way of a caesarian section in Nice, France.  Rueters reports:

Hollywood actress Angelina Jolie has given birth to twins, a boy and a girl, her doctor at a hospital in southern France said on Sunday.

Oscar winner Jolie, 33, had the twins by caesarean section on Saturday evening at the Lenval hospital on the glamorous Promenade des Anglais waterfront drive in Nice. Actor Brad Pitt, the twins’ father, was believed to be at her side.

The girl, named Vivienne Marcheline, weighed 2.27 kg (5.0 lbs) while her brother, Knox Leon, weighed an almost identical 2.28 kg, according to Jolie’s doctor, Michel Sussmann.

“The parents and the babies are in excellent health. Everything is fine,” Sussmann told Reuters. He said the c-section had been planned for a long time but the date was brought forward “for medical reasons”.

Well it’s about friggin’ time.  Based on the schedule that I have absolutely not been keeping Angelina has been pregnant for like 66 years.  I’m not entirely sure, but I think her news of being pregnant was bumped off the top story by the bombing of Pearl Harbor.  Also, there is some sad news to go along with this joyous event; Angelina will no longer be “suffering” from her magnificient case of “Pregnant Boobs Syndrome.”  ‘Tis a shame.  Anywho, congrats to Brad & Angelina and their entire three-ring circus of a brood.

- Bluto -

According to some people from Frace, Angelina is or will soon give birth to twin girls.  Someone start the 18 year countdown.  The AP reports:

The seafront Lenval hospital in Nice in the south of France said Tuesday that Angelina Jolie had checked in at its Santa Maria maternity clinic to be kept under doctors’ surveillance and get some rest before she gives birth.

“There’s no urgency. It’s been planned for a long time,” said Nadine Bauer, a hospital spokeswoman. “She’s very well. Everything is fine.”

“She is not on the verge of giving birth, not at all,” she said. “It’s not for right away.”

The 33-year-old actress will almost certainly remain in the hospital until she gives birth, Bauer said.

Well it’s about friggin’ time.  Angelina has been pregnant for like 16 months, which lead me to believe that she was part elephant, but as it turns out, she is just a normal woman who happens to have the greatest genes ever.  Also, what the shit did that dude mean when he said Angelina would remain in the hospital until she gave birth?  Isn’t that obvious?  It’s not like we were expecting her to compete in a triathlon with a stomach full of human.

- Bluto -

In what turns out to be very depressing to me, Brad Pitt has impregnated Angelina Jolie with twins and has caused me to buy a sniper rifle. People reports:

This time around will be double the pleasure for Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, who are expecting twins.

Jack Black let the news slip while doing a joint-interview with Jolie in Cannes to promote their movie, Kung Fu Panda. “You’re gonna have as many as [the] Brady Bunch when you have these,” he said during the chat with Today show’s Natalie Morales.

Asked by Morales if she is indeed having twins, Jolie replied, “Yeah, yeah, we’ve confirmed that already. Well, Jack’s just confirmed it actually.”

The children will be the fifth and sixth for the Jolie and Pitt. The family currently consists of Maddox, 6; Pax, 4; Zahara, 3; and Shiloh, who turns 2 this month.

Ok, seriously, Brad Pitt needs to knock it the fuck off. I think he’s a good actor and enjoy his movies as do a lot of other people. So there’s one thing he has got going for him. For the past 10-15 or so years he’s also been the one man women wouldn’t think twice about throwing their vagina at his crotch while visiting the Pope. And now he is having his second and third biological child with Angelina Jolie, the one woman men wouldn’t think twice about robbing Fort Knox while holding the President hostage if she asked them to while laying on their bed naked. in fact, if I came home to find Angelina Jolie naked on my bed I would round up every orphan being chased by demon Tigers in India’s haunted jungles on the off chance that she would be impressed and let me touch her boob.

Speaking of her boobies, did anyone else notice how awesome her nipple holsters become when she’s infiltrated by sperm? So, now we have a conundrum:

A) Let Brad Pitt continue to Hank Aaron Angelina’s vagina

B) Brainstorm a diabolical scheme to remove Mr. Pitt but risk losing his movies and Angelina pregnant boobs

Hmm…… I must ponder, get me my pipe, flat cap, and bifocals.

- Bluto -