So it looks exactly like every other magazine pictorial she has done while wearing a bikini. I am massively disappointed. She better do a week’s worth of AOTS shows completely naked or I will be forced to retaliate. How, you ask? Let’s just say that it will involve a coldly calculated plot, and will not end with me getting arrested after accidentally taring and feathering myself. “I said to wait for 284 seconds, Carl! What the fuck is so hard about that? You made me look like an idiot — even with me wearing my fierce battle tutu.”

It’s been awhile since I last posted on the site, and that is mainly because I went on a week-long bender and became stranded in Tijuana.  How did I become stranded in Tijuana, you ask?  Well, I told my donkey that she wasn’t as attractive as the donkey I had in Santiago and she left me on the side of the mountain with a can of unopened beans……. “I’m sorry Juanita!”  Anyway, to celebrate my escape from Mexican bandits, here’s a video of Kevin Pereira fondling Oliva Munn’s boobies, or what I’ve wanted to do since 2006.

And so we’ve come to the last day of the “Chicks Who Work at G4 are Hot” series of the “Hot Chick of the Day” establishment. I was going to go on a long ramble of how Layla Kayleigh is way too hot to be allowed to wear clothes but out of all the G4 chicks she seems like the one would would be most likely to do some nude photos and/or a sex tape. So, friends, I ask you all to pray to whatever stupid god you pray to and beg, nay, demand that, that son of a bitch get off his lazy ass and give us some “Crazy Hot Chicks Who Work at G4″ nakedness already.

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Photo: Maxim, Weblo, Poker On TV, Oliviamunn.org, G4, Should’ve Asked Me

- Bluto -

So we’ve come to day 3 of “The Hotness something, something G4.” It had an official title but I forgot what it was and was too lazy to go back and look, so henceforth it shall be known as “Something, Something Hot Chicks.” And since there is only one more day left of this series (unless G4 has hired another hot chick I am unaware of) I should be able to remember that title, but no promises. Anyslut, here be G4 correspondent Kristin Holt. It seems as though there aren’t many pictures of Kristin Holt on Google Search and I think I now why; no nudes. This is why I propose that Ms. Holt join in with her fellow G4 ladies and pose for Playboy. I’m flying out to LA tomorrow to discuss this endeavor with the Hef. Turns out it won’t be a very long flight since the Playboy mansion is actually a cardboard fort in my laundry room. Negotiations could be tough, what with people opening Mr. Hefner every 60 minutes to change loads.

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Photo: Stuff Magazine, G4

- Bluto -

We’ve reached Day 2 (a milestone, I know) in my groundbreaking HCOTD series of “The Hotness That Has Invaded G4″ and we’ve come to Ms. Morgan Webb; the tall, large-breasted host of “X-Play,” and by tall and large-breasted I mean, “Will you please do Playboy already?!” “For the love of God, think of the children!” Morgan Webb hails from the land of our neighbors to the north. For those of you who geographically challenged that would be Canada, or as I like to call them, “That stupid fucking country whose asshole cold air won’t let spring arrive. I mean seriously, snow? In fucking May? Fuck you Canada!” Besides that though, top-notch country. According to some bio that I may or may not have read and may or may not have made-up, Morgan Webb is married to an evil king who keeps her in a locked room 24/7, and also he makes her wear a mu mu. So, friends of the “Boobie Liberation Front” I beseech you! Do what you are bound by honor to do and…… huh? Oh yea? Well then…… according to Jim over in HR I am not allowed to make up wild stories about Morgan’s husband that may lead to his physical harm. I suspect Jim is just jealous of my creativity, and possibly he is just trying to distract me so he can steal the “Video Game Goddess” for himself; hmm…… something is afoot.

Anyway, Morgan Webb is inexplicably hot for someone who is dedicated to video games, so, without further nonsensical rambling, here be Morgan Webb in all her tall, large-breasted goodness.

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Photo: Ernest Alba, Top Women, FHM, Maxim

- Bluto -

Well here be the first edition of my totally awesome “Chicks of G4″ series that will take over the “Hot Chick of the Day” establishment for the next several days. Aside from the legions upon legions of geeks worldwide who kill another generation of kids at the conclusion of “Attack of the Show” or “X-Play” I’m pretty sure this is the first and only time anyone has celebrated the hotness that has invaded G4. It should be noted that I have absolutely no evidence to back up this historic claim but since I am a genius of epic proportions who can never tell a lie that likes to spend his free time rehabilitating lost and wayward kittens, and was the only person in history banned from Italy for fear that my chiseled physique would get more attention than the sculptures….. ladies…… ummmm…… well I forgot where I was going with this so let’s just move on to the boobies. I was going to get an exclusive interview with Ms. Munn for my loyal readers (thanks Mom!) but when I showed up to the G4 studios in my Good-time Party Outfit (nude) with a tub of a certain water-soluble personal lubricant produced by Johnson & Johnson “the man” deemed it necessary to call the LAPD. And because the LAPD didn’t buy my story of being at the G4 studios for KY slip ‘n slide day here I sit in the county jail with no clothes and a giant tub of…… uh oh…… this could be trouble.

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Photo: Reddit, Askmen, Playboy, Asian Girls are Hot, Easy Does It U, Toph Speaks, Club IGN

- Bluto -