In case you haven’t noticed, I’m kinda, sorta, somewhat of a liberal democrat, so imagine my delight when I learned that an SNL legend had returned to make Republicans look like goddamn fools.  Sure, a half-digested banana could just as easily mock that group of window lickers, but Dan Aykroyd is awesome and that’s all that matters.  The end.

It’s nice having a President who can convey his thoughts without the added risk that he might fling his poop at you, or inadvertently start a war by pinning labels on certain regions.  It’s also nice having a President who has an idea of what he’s doing.  Anywho, if you missed this and have an hour to kill, enjoy.

Carbon neutral cellphones?  Alright then.  (Geekologie)

When did Hilary Duff get so hot?  (Hollywood Tuna)

Sarah Jessica Parker is moving back under her bridge.  (IDLYITW)

Investigations are currently underway to figure out if this amazing Jessica Simpson picture is the real deal, or just some evil sorcerer’s dastardly deed.  (WWTDD)

The 100 Sexiest Topless Babes of 2008, according to Nuts Magazine.  (Nuts)

The greatest NFL Cheerleader Photos of the past year.  (NFL)

Chicks grabbing their own boobs is awesome.  Celebrity chicks grabbing their own boobs is even better.  (Manofest)

An Abigail Clancy collection of assorted photographs, because she’s gorgeous.  (Gorillamask)

Obama meets with other people who formerly had the worst job in the world.  (CNN)

So, the story in the post below this post turned out to be a complete fucking hoax.  What a stupid bitch.  CNN reports:

A Republican campaign worker who told police she was assaulted by a man angered by a John McCain sticker on her car admitted she made up the report, the Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, assistant police chief said Friday.
Ashley Todd, 20, of College Park, Texas, has been charged with filing a false police report, a misdemeanor, and may face more charges, said Pittsburgh police spokeswoman Diane Richard at a news conference.
Todd is incarcerated at the Allegheny County Jail but had not been arraigned Friday night.

If anybody called the fire department for McCain’s campaign you may as well call if off, as his campaign has already burned completly to the ground.

John McCain supporter, Ashley Todd, said she was brutally attacked at an ATM two nights ago after an alleged Obama supporter noticed a McCain/Palin bumper sticker on her car.  Todd said she was punched, kicked, and had a ‘B’ cut into her face with a dull knife by a dark-skinned man.  Pittsburgh police say there maybe something afoot.  TMZ reports:

Pittsburgh law enforcement sources tell TMZ they have serious questions about the authenticity of the alleged victim who says she had her face cut by a politically-motivated attacker.
We’re told there are several things about the alleged attack that don’t add up. A Pittsburgh PD official says they are conducting a “thorough investigation” and have not determined if the alleged attack is real or a hoax. But we’re told there is definitely a level of skepticism.

If this turns out to be a hoax, this woman is going to be about as popular as a rat in 1343 Europe.

Damn, Tina could not have pulled that off any better.  She pretty much stole Sarah’s teddy bear and pushed her into the mud.

We probably won’t delve into politics too often here on this site, or maybe we will, I don’t know, but John Edwards helped Barack Obama continue his 5-month (?) bitch-slap of Hillary Clinton today by officially announcing his support for the next President. CNN reports:

Former Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards endorsed Sen. Barack Obama on Wednesday at a campaign event in Grand Rapids, Michigan.

“The reason I’m here tonight is because the Democratic voters have made their choice, and so have I,” he told the boisterous crowd.

“There is one man who knows and understands that this is a time for bold leadership. There is one man that knows how to create the change, the lasting change, that you have to build from the ground up,” Edwards said. “There is one man who knows in his heart there is time to create one America, not two … and that man is Barack Obama.”

Will Hillary Clinton FINALLY take the hint and realize that her campaign has been impaled for months now? No. No she will not. For reasons that only she knows, Hillary Clinton has refused to accept reality and let her campaign fucking die already. Instead, she chooses to improve the chances of Bush’s apprentice soldier on and make herself look like a disillusioned fool. Like I said before, only Hillary knows why she continues her mummy-like campaign, but here is my reasoning on it; Hillary Clinton is a selfish 3-year-old who whines and bitches until she gets her way, and if she cannot get her way she ruins everyone else’s fun. So Hillary may say that she’d rather have Obama in office over McCain, but in reality she is doing everything she can to sabotage Obama’s campaign for kicking the shit out of her for what she is supposedly “more experienced” at. And you know who the real victim in all of this is? Bill Clinton. He could’ve been back at home landing some hot, young political major college tail for the past few months, but no, instead he has to gallivant across the country in support of an aborted fetus.

- Bluto -