Boobs are fucking awesome.

Things to know about this video:
- Fergie saunters around in a bra.
- There’s some glow paint stuff towards the end.
- It has some scantily clad female ladies that Fergie proceeds to grind on.
- At about the 2:07-ish mark one of the girls’ shirts get pulled down to reveal an epic boob.
- There’s some dancing.
- Fergie saunters around in a bra.

So, just like in real life. Hot chicks come around and men turn into bumbling retards. How do you women not rule the world by now?

Katy Perry brought her boobs over to Complex, and they proceed to talk about them.  Surprising, right?  Anywho, since you people don’t care about words, and most of you can’t read, here’s Ms. Perry frolicking about in some suggestive attire.  And by “suggestive”, I mean she has really awesome tits.

NOTE: Head over to Egotastic to view still shots from the magazine.  Just in case you’re incapable of watching the moving pictures and masturbating at the same time. Safety first.

I’m fairly certain I’ve said this before, but I fucking love the United Kingdom.  You have kick-ass football teams, Newcastle, the British invasion, and beautiful women who all seem to have huge tits.  Awesome.  Frickin’ awesome.  I’m going to buy all of a cake.

Damn.  Danica Patrick is far and away the hottest race car driver.  Sure, there’s like three women drivers in all of racing (right?), but even if whatever league she is in was filled to the bra with tits (what?), Danica would still be tops.  Of course, I have absolutely no proof to back that claim, so I think it’d be best if Danica just walked around naked from now on.  Just to show potential speeding vaginas who’s who in this world of chocolate pudding wrestling…  Wait, that’s what this post was about, yes?  Hot chicks bumping boobies in sweet custard?  Alright then.

There is no way in hell that Sharon would not have realized that her fake old lady tits would’ve been on full display in that thing when the flash bulbs started going off.  Seeing as how she’s not even remotely relevant these days, this seems like nothing more than a, “Hey!  Look at me!” attempt.  And I gotta say, there is no better way to get attention than by showing your boobs, ladies.

NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions of Sharon’s geriatric nipples that I would still absolutely play with.  What?  Don’t even try to tell me that Sharon wouldn’t be able to rock your world under the linens.

In case you were wondering if Slovakia has any gorgeous women, the short answer is — yes.  The long answer is — what the fuck are you wondering about that for?  Lucia Dvosrka is prancing about in skimpy bikinies.  Now, stop being gay, and start making God cry.

According to my own personal theory, redheads are either really hot or really ugly.  As you’ve probably guessed, Cintia Dicker is really hot.  Really, really hot.  Like, I would murder your entire family, cut off both of my legs, and drown an entire litter of puppies just to see a boob, hot.  Think I should sharpen this saw before I start this procedure?

After closely examining (I need a new microscope) this video and the accompanying photos, and taking into account her bodypaint extravaganza, Brooklyn Decker may have just in fact risen to the top of my lady pile to claim the “Hottest Lady Chick in the World” title.  It’s a prestigious honor.  Ms. Decker shall be showered with rewards, which she can pick up in my bedroom.

NOTE: Click the link below to view Brooklyn’s video diary.