The coolest Kung Fu hippie this side of Bruce Lee was found dead in a hotel room in Taiwan. BBC reports:

Kill Bill and Kung Fu star David Carradine has been found dead in a Bangkok hotel room, BBC correspondent Jonathan Head has reported.
The 72-year-old was in Thailand filming his latest film Stretch, according to his personal manager Chuck Binder.

Well, on the plus side, David has been able to keep his dignity, thus far. But everyone knows there’s a 400% chance that this story will end with two dead hookers and half of the blow in Colombia. Nobody dies in Thailand without basically triple-dog-daring your body to do so.

RIP.

Mike Tyson’s 4-year-old daughter died this morning after accidentally strangeling herself while playing on exercise equipment.  CNN:

The 4-year-old daughter of boxing legend Mike Tyson died Tuesday, a day after she was injured in a treadmill accident at her home, police in Phoenix, Arizona, said.
Exodus Tyson was pronounced dead at 11:45 a.m. local time Tuesday, said Sgt. Andy Hill, a Phoenix police spokesman.
The girl’s 7-year-old brother found her on a treadmill in the Phoenix home Monday. She had been strangled by a cord connected to the machine, said Sgt. Andy Hill of the Phoenix Police Department.

Well that sucks.

Since it failed to kill Morgan Freeman, that mother fucking asshole Death, decided to kill Bernie Mac instead.  AP reports:

Bernie Mac, the actor and comedian who teamed up in the casino heist caper “Ocean’s Eleven” and gained a prestigious Peabody Award for his sitcom “The Bernie Mac Show,” died Saturday at age 50.

“Actor/comedian Bernie Mac passed away this morning from complications due to pneumonia in a Chicago area hospital,” his publicist, Danica Smith, said in a statement from Los Angeles.

The comedian suffered from sarcoidosis, an inflammatory lung disease that produces tiny lumps of cells in the body’s organs, but had said the condition went into remission in 2005. He recently was hospitalized and treated for pneumonia, which his publicist said was not related to the disease.

Well isn’t that just a straight kick to the testicles.  Anybody else get the feeling that death is such an asshole because every time he tried to play around with a chick’s boobies in high school she ended up stiffer than he was?  Goddammit, now who’s going to be the smooth-talking dealer in Ocean’s 14?

RIP Bernie.

Legendary comedian George Carlin, died of heart failure in a Los Angeles hospital on Sunday.  Carlin was admitted to the hospital early Sunday afternoon after experiencing chest pains.  Reuters reports:

Comedian George Carlin, a counter-culture hero famed for his routines about drugs and dirty words, died of heart failure at a Los Angeles-area hospital on Sunday, a spokesman said. He was 71.

Carlin, who had a history of heart and drug-dependency problems, died at Saint John’s Health Center in Santa Monica about 6 p.m. PDT (9 p.m. EDT) after being admitted earlier in the afternoon for chest pains, spokesman Jeff Abraham told Reuters.

Known for his edgy, provocative material, Carlin achieved status as an anti-Establishment icon in the 1970s with stand-up bits full of drug references and a routine called “Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television.” A regulatory battle over a radio broadcast of the routine ultimately reached the U.S. Supreme Court.

Mother fucker.  What the shit is up with that Angel of Death?  I’m really starting to get sick of you taking people from Hollywood who don’t make me want to drive a tank into a convent.  What?  You couldn’t find Paris Hilton’s house?  Couldn’t quite bust through the force field of douche surrounding Spencer Pratt?  You were distracted by Heidi Montag’s $100,000 chest weren’t you, you son of a bitch?  Fucking jackass.  Seriously, you take Paul Newman away from us and I’ll shoot you out of a fucking cannon.

Cheers, George.

- Bluto -

Respected director/actor/producer Sydney Pollack died at his home in Los Angeles after succumbing to a 10-month battle with cancer. Reuters:

Hollywood filmmaker Sydney Pollack, who won a pair of Academy Awards for the epic romance “Out of Africa” and earned praise for acting stints in films including “Tootsie” and “Michael Clayton,” died on Monday after a battle with cancer, his spokeswoman said. He was 73.

During a varied career spanning almost half a century, Pollack directed such stars as Barbra Streisand and Robert Redford in “The Way We Were,” Tom Cruise in “The Firm” and Dustin Hoffman in “Tootsie.” Redford starred in seven of his films, including “Out of Africa,” alongside Meryl Streep.

Pollack died at his home in the coastal Los Angeles suburb of Pacific Palisades at about 5 p.m. local time. He was diagnosed with cancer about 10 months ago, but doctors were never able to determine the primary source of the disease, said spokeswoman Leslee Dart.

So once again fate decided to be a giant asshole and take someone in Hollywood that actually matters. You know who should get hit by a bus right now could’ve gone on fate’s field trip instead? Paris Hilton, Spencer Pratt, and Denise Richards. Granted, the three of them are worth about as much as Mr. Pollack’s toe talent-wise, but they still would’ve made a suitable substitution. Fuck you fate.*

*By reading the following, Fate has agreed not to come to Bluto’s house at 2 in the morning and scare the bejesus out of him before striking down his mortal life, and then taking him on a 7-hour, boobless car ride to the netherworld.

- Bluto -