In an astonishing revelation, one scientists are still studying, Kelly Clarkson put on her obvious hat and stated that celebrities aren’t perfect.  People:

“No girl is perfect,” Clarkson – who joked on her blog last month that “they Photoshopped the crap out of me!” on her sexy All I Ever Wanted cover image – told a group of Girl Scouts recently. “No girl wakes up every day and is like, ‘I’m awesome!’”
Clarkson, 26, knows what it’s like to have her body image picked apart. “It affected me when people were saying about me and some other artists that we were the ‘thicker’ ones,” she tells PEOPLE. “I’d be a liar if I said I was always fine with it. But I’m wise enough by now to know that you’re never going to please everyone so you may as well stop trying.”
“I learned right then to stop reading press. Either you’re going to get a big head or you’ll get depressed and neither one is great. I don’t buy magazines like that. Even if I’m not in them, it’s just healthier to get away from that kind of thinking,” she says. “It’s horrible – they’ll show celebrities with cellulite and it’s like, ‘Of course celebrities have cellulite! We’re not fem-bots!’”
“When I’m on the red carpet, it’s not even a question anymore,” says Clarkson. “Usually people are very encouraging and tell me they love that I’m normal.”

If Kelly would have been able to stop chewing her hay for a moment, she would’ve realized that the reason magazines seem to pick on her image so much is because she looks like the offspring of the StayPuft Marshmallow Man. Megan Fox: dudes are thinking about excessive fondling.  Kelly Clarkson: dudes are thinking about Hershey’s chocolate and graham crackers.

Apparently, in between sexing Britney Spears and taking care of her spawns, Kevin Federline decided to eat the entire tub of cookie dough.  The Sun laughs:

While his ex wife BRITNEY SPEARS has danced her way back into shape, I reckon porky Kev has piled on about 100 pounds.

Just making a few subtle changes could help Kevin back to his old weight.

Like swapping the Coke for Diet for instance.

“Like swapping the Coke for Diet for instance?”  Diet?  Why not, I don’t know, water?  Son of a bitch this story sucks.  Why did I even post it?  I knew I should’ve went with that essay on snail dung.