So one moment Halle Berry is the hottest pregnant chick alive and the next moment she’s doing her civic duty by immolating an entire beach by way of her bikini powers.  Worthy of the Medal of Honor?  I think so.

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Photo: Egotastic

- Bluto -

Presumably.   Well what other conclusion am I supposed to come to when Halle Berry goes to the dentist with her massively awesome chest of huge racks of boobs on full alert?  Speaking of which, what kind of cruel joke is she trying to play on the dentist?  She’s just tempting fate with this outfit.  Halle goes to the dentist for a routine cleaning and before you know it she has a scraper lodged in her gums while the dentist tries to wrestle the suction hose out of his pants (only people who live in places with dentists will get that joke.  Sorry England).  I guarantee you the first words out of her dentist’s mouth were, “Well Ms. Berry, let’s get a look at those tits.”

[View with PicLens]

Photo: Egotastic

- Bluto -

That’s right, I am fucking calling it. Come February 2009 you’ll see Amy Smart walking up to the stage, pass that crotchstain Billy Crystal, and up to the podium where she will make movie history. I’m not entirely sure what that history will be, but it will be great. Also, I think that actresses should be required to wear the same outfit for the role they won the Oscar for. How sweet would that be? Imagine Halle Berry accepting her Oscar for Monster’s Ball again; awesome, just so long as you have a crowbar to pry Billy-Bob Thornton off of her.

And just to refresh your memory of Amy Smart’s acting ability, here be some NSFW pictures of her unrestrained, umm, acting.

NSFW Gallery

Photo: Gorillamask, Hotee

- Bluto -

So Lily Allen spent the day buying some knockers for her door, and NOT some knockers for her chest. Goddamn misleading titles. In case you care The Sun disappoints:

LILY ALLEN hit the shops yesterday looking for goodies to make some home improvements.

She spent ages in a DIY store in London hunting for perfect door knockers.

Take some advice from me Lily – consider buying some less revealing tops to cover up your own…

Now you may be asking yourself, if Lily Allen did not enhance her bosom why did Bluto even post this story? Well I’ll tell you why, if The Sun can just go and post stories with sexually enticing titles all wily nily like only to turn around and lie right to my face, then you better believe I’m going to do the same to you. If I have to wallow in anger and disappointment over the absence of large breasts than so do you.

Also, since Lily Allen did not buy a new set of chest sentries I saw no reason to post a picture of her. I did however, see every and any reason to post that sexified picture of Halle Berry, who happens to have some of the best milk sacks in Hollywood. God bless you Halle Berry.

P.S.

Do more nude scenes.

Photo: Filmonic

- Bluto -