I really have to start one of these lads magazine things.  The promotional tour of my bedroom has yet to lead to any supermodels getting naked for my polaroids.  Like, for instance, if Heidi Klum showed up naked to my tour, I wouldn’t even charge her the usual sexing fee of getting to see a real, live faucet.

I felt kinda bad posting something that did not contain boobs in any way.  And since I am bombed out of my skull in the festive spirit from New Year’s, here’s the unbelievably gorgeous women of Victoria’s Secret strutting around in all kinds of sexy.

NOTE: Click the link below to view the rest of the videos from the 2008 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, or as I like to call it, penis heaven.

UPDATE: I just figured out how to embed YouTube videos in their fancy new “HD” quality, so in celebration of that I decided to move this post to the top.  Now you can enjoy the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show in all its 720p glory.

NOTE: Holy tits, look at Marisa Miller’s tits as she starts her walk near the beginning of video II.  I hope her husband gets molested by fire ants.

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I gotta go with Sophie Howard.  No, Keeley Hazell.  Wait, Heidi Klum.  Maybe, Marisa Miller.  Or Laetitia Casta.  Well perhaps… no… how ’bout… dammit…  Ahhhh!!!!  Well, my brain has actually exploded.  At least I’m pretty sure it has.  It does smell like burning… Shit!  My Pop-Tarts!!  Anyway, the only way to fairly settle this boob debate it to have all the ladies accompany me to my shower.  It’s science.

For the seven of you who read this site on a regular basis you may be asking yourself, “Why hasn’t thy noble Lord Bluto updated thyne Holy site in what may be a fortnight so we serfs can take our minds off of the slave labor he puts us through godswallop barney blagged mudpies?” Well, it’s because the brain cell that runs the operations in my head decided to be a smart ass this weekend so I had to show him what’s what with vast amounts of grain alcohol. I’m pretty sure he learned his lesson, but he hasn’t said anything for about a day, must be napping. Also, it’s because I’m really lazy and nobody in Hollywood has done anything worth mentioning recently. They need to get on the ball and die or kill a hooker or something.

So to ease back into the swing of things, here’s Heidi Klum…….. ahhh, now that little bastard is awake….. get to work dammit!

[View with PicLens]

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Photo: Km02, Sports Illustrated. Egotastic, Idontlikeyouinthatway

- Bluto -

As some of you may have noticed the NSFW Galleries Page recently blew up.  Well I am pleased to report that repairs are going swimmingly and the page should be up and running again very soon……. as soon as we find that goddamn hamster.

You may be asking yourself “Gee Bluto, what’s with the hot supermodel picture?”  Well I am a firm believer in my theory that hot chicks solve everything, and make any bad news sound like you just won the lottery.  So, I bring you Heidi Klum in all her hotness glory.

- Bluto -

It seems as though Amy Winehouse’s imprisoned hubby Blake something-something is none too happy about his drug queen whoring it up (“Heidi Klum naked, Heidi Klum naked, Heidi Klum naked”) and is demanding a £3 million divorce payout, which breaks down to £250,000 for every month they were married, including the months Blake has spent protecting his bunghole from pillaging, The Sun says:

SINGER AMY WINEHOUSE’s jailbird husband is demanding a £3million divorce payout as he rages over being dumped. Junkie BLAKE FIELDER-CIVIL, 25, has told his lawyers he wants £250,000 for every month of their year’s marriage, despite being behind bars for part of it. And he fumed to pals after being ditched by the 24-year-old Back to Black singer: “She wouldn’t even be alive if it wasn’t for me.”

Well isn’t that special. A marriage built on a foundation of crack has fallen apart. Who would’ve guessed? I mean, who could’ve predicted that a junkie would mount other men while in a drug haze when her significant other is calculating how many packs of cigarettes he will have to smuggle in his anus to avoid “special time” with Radiator Hose Bob? I think this is how fairy tales are made.

I was going to post a picture of present-day Amy but it turns out that having to look at a picture of that, plus having to envision a naked, cracked-out Amy Winehouse getting plowed was outlawed by the Geneva Convention. So, by law, I had to post a picture of when Amy was still fairly doable.

Photo: The Best Gossip

- Bluto -