Ahahaha, are they even trying to win?  AP:

Amy Strozzi, who works on the reality show “So You Think You Can Dance” and has been Palin’s traveling stylist, was paid $22,800, according to campaign finance reports for the first two weeks in October. In contrast, McCain’s foreign policy adviser, Randy Scheunemann, was paid $12,500, the report showed.
McCain’s campaign said the payment covered a portion of her work in September and a portion of October. An earlier campaign finance report showed Strozzi was paid $13,200 for a portion of September.

Seriously, did nobody tell this campaign how to run a goddamn political campaign?  It’s like they resurrected the Three Stooges and put them in charge.

So, the story in the post below this post turned out to be a complete fucking hoax.  What a stupid bitch.  CNN reports:

A Republican campaign worker who told police she was assaulted by a man angered by a John McCain sticker on her car admitted she made up the report, the Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, assistant police chief said Friday.
Ashley Todd, 20, of College Park, Texas, has been charged with filing a false police report, a misdemeanor, and may face more charges, said Pittsburgh police spokeswoman Diane Richard at a news conference.
Todd is incarcerated at the Allegheny County Jail but had not been arraigned Friday night.

If anybody called the fire department for McCain’s campaign you may as well call if off, as his campaign has already burned completly to the ground.

John McCain supporter, Ashley Todd, said she was brutally attacked at an ATM two nights ago after an alleged Obama supporter noticed a McCain/Palin bumper sticker on her car.  Todd said she was punched, kicked, and had a ‘B’ cut into her face with a dull knife by a dark-skinned man.  Pittsburgh police say there maybe something afoot.  TMZ reports:

Pittsburgh law enforcement sources tell TMZ they have serious questions about the authenticity of the alleged victim who says she had her face cut by a politically-motivated attacker.
We’re told there are several things about the alleged attack that don’t add up. A Pittsburgh PD official says they are conducting a “thorough investigation” and have not determined if the alleged attack is real or a hoax. But we’re told there is definitely a level of skepticism.

If this turns out to be a hoax, this woman is going to be about as popular as a rat in 1343 Europe.

Showing their horrendous phenomenal skills at running a political campaign, the Republican Party spent $150,000 on John McCain’s distraction of hotness running mate.  The Independent reports:

The Republican Party did not dispute the wardrobe findings of the US
website Politico, moreover. By perusing the campaign’s financial
disclosures for September, the site found that Mrs Palin’s fashion
expenditure included almost $50,000 doled out at branches of Saks Fifth
Avenue in St Louis and New York, as well as more than $75,000 on
clothes at high-end Neiman Marcus in Minneapolis, the host city for the
Republican Convention. “With all of the important issues facing the
country right now, it’s remarkable that we’re spending time talking
about pantsuits and blouses,” said a Palin spokeswoman, Tracey Schmitt.
“It was always the intent that the clothing goes to a charitable
purpose after the campaign.”

How is McCain not absolutely dominating the presidential race?  I mean, aside from being completely unfit for president, and running one of the worst political campaigns in history, he should have a virtual lock on the presidency.  Especially when his party filled with geniuses spends donated money so wisely.

OK, so maybe not literally, but figuratively enough where it may as well have been literal.  I am 100% certain that anything John McCain does to try and stop our economy from doing a swan-dive off of the Empire State Building will result in the complete the destruction of the Earth.  Yes, John McCain is that incompetent when it comes to economics.

Damn, Tina could not have pulled that off any better.  She pretty much stole Sarah’s teddy bear and pushed her into the mud.

In John McCain’s defense, he’s an idiot who has absolutely no tact whatsoever.  So, it should come as no surprise that he picked a former Alaskan mayor with limited experience as a governor to be a heartbeat away from the most powerful seat in the house; just so he could stare at her bodacious bod during those tedious cabinet meetings.

Seriously, if our retarded country elects this fucking imbecile in November I will cut my goddamn dick off, and by my I mean yours.

- Bluto -

In case you weren’t entirely sure that John McCain is a giant, retarded fucking hypocrite, here’s a video showcasing the change of John McCain’s opinion on the Iraq War.  When the war was being “planned” McCain had Bush’s balls so far down his throat he knew what Laura Bush tasted like (ewwwwwww, stupid brain).  Now that the war has turned into a fucking quagmire McStupid has kicked Bush down the side of the mountain, and hopes that none of us remember that he used to support a retarded chimpanzee.  I told that joke to a chimp once and he tore off my arm because he was so offended.

I like interview at the end:

“At what point do you stop doing what you think is right, and you start doing what THE MAJORITY of the AMERICAN PEOPLE want?”

“Well, again, I disagree with what the MAJORITY OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE want.”

What the fuck?  Who the fuck do you work for you stupid fucking asshole?  You’re not a mother fucking king.  You are ACCOUNTABLE to US you senile fuck.

- Bluto -

Because John McCain is a warmongering fucking moron with the economic knowledge of a third grade remedial student, and our country will have as much of a chance as a 9-year-old in John Wayne Gacy’s house if he is elected.  Let’s spend 100 years in Iraq and “Bomb, bomb, bomb” Iran.  That would be fun and wouldn’t piss off the entire Middle East, Russia, China, N. Korea or anyone else.  WWIII with the United States against the entire world would be awesome.  I’ve always wanted to settle the bet with my roommate over would be be vaporized in a nuclear blast first.  That bastard’s PS3 will be mine in no time.

- Bluto -