At this point, I don’t even know why Lily tries to wear a top. Her boobs are like great heroes, always looking for a way out of the oppression all great heroes face, or something. I’m not entirely sure if my heroic story of Lily’s Houdini-like tits will rank up there with the Iliad, but what is certain is that I should get reverse cowgirl by our first date, at the latest.

NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions of Lily Allen not giving a shit and everybody winning.

Doesn’t Lily Allen seem like she’s just one big bundle of awesome? She’s already from the UK — the greatest place on earth, which someone should lend me some money to move to — and she doesn’t seem to have any qualms about nudity, which bodes well for my plan of lots and lots of sex. I should write military strategies.

NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions of Lily Allen being awesome.

So Lily Allen spent the day buying some knockers for her door, and NOT some knockers for her chest. Goddamn misleading titles. In case you care The Sun disappoints:

LILY ALLEN hit the shops yesterday looking for goodies to make some home improvements.

She spent ages in a DIY store in London hunting for perfect door knockers.

Take some advice from me Lily – consider buying some less revealing tops to cover up your own…

Now you may be asking yourself, if Lily Allen did not enhance her bosom why did Bluto even post this story? Well I’ll tell you why, if The Sun can just go and post stories with sexually enticing titles all wily nily like only to turn around and lie right to my face, then you better believe I’m going to do the same to you. If I have to wallow in anger and disappointment over the absence of large breasts than so do you.

Also, since Lily Allen did not buy a new set of chest sentries I saw no reason to post a picture of her. I did however, see every and any reason to post that sexified picture of Halle Berry, who happens to have some of the best milk sacks in Hollywood. God bless you Halle Berry.

P.S.

Do more nude scenes.

Photo: Filmonic

- Bluto -