That son of a bitch.  People:

The New England Patriots quarterback and the Brazilian supermodel wed just before 6 p.m. at St. Monica’s church, less than a mile from the beach. Brady’s 1 ½ son, John Edward Thomas, was present at the wedding.
They followed the wedding with a small gathering at their Brentwood home.
OK, goddammit, [...]

I know this picture has nothing to do with the story, but would you rather look at the guy attached to the hog Salma is currently funneling, or the best boobs in Hollywood?  Now stop being a homo and start ogling.  People:

Hayek, 42, and Pinault, 46, were married on Saturday – St. Valentine’s Day – [...]

In a case of extreme douchbaggery, Ryan “I’m a son of a bitch” Reynolds married Scarlett Johansson in America’s hat over the weekend.  People reports:

Attended by only a handful of close friends and family, the ceremony was held at a remote wilderness retreat outside of Vancouver, B.C.
This is the first marriage for both. The couple [...]

….so says the dream in my head.  What could spurn such cruel and malicious thoughts you ask?  Well, mainly it’s People’s report that, that son of a bitch Cash Warren married Jessica Alba.  Why the hell didn’t Alba’s parents sit her down and talk about safe sex?  Why the hell did my Sperm Laser Uterus [...]