I’m not entirely sure why Christina Milian isn’t more famous than she already is. Based on what TV has taught me about Hollywood, fame is directly related to beauty, and Christina is clearly gorgeous, so she should be able to get a guided tour of the White House with no questions asked. In a related story, I just recently became a White House tour guide, possibly. I’m going to add some life to these tours by having a mandatory nudity policy, and sex in random rooms clause (See: Hot chicks only). I pitched this idea to the Secret Service, and recommended that I take the newly-arrived 18-year-old Brazilian maid Consuela up to the Lincoln bedroom to test it out. I’m pretty sure they thought I was a genius, but it was hard to hear their praise in between their kicking me in the head, which I assume they were doing to test my toughness.

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Well Olivia Wilde certainly lives up to being the reigning lady of Maxim’s Hot 100 list. Now if only that list was entitled “Playboy’s Hot 100 — And not that lame teasingly almost nude shit — we mean the hottest 100 chicks who are completely naked. You don’t get into the door at Playboy with clothes on. We keep it classy. I mean seriously. Do you realize how much time and effort we spend in trying to keep the Hef erect? How the hell are we supposed to do that if everyone is walking around in a goddamn parka? Dude’s older than the dust in the Queen’s vagina.” I know that title is long, but does that really matter if the 100 hottest female celebrities are naked? I didn’t think so. Now go get me a waffle.

This edition of TLBC site news is brought to you by Marisa Miller being ridiculously hot.

Please join me in welcoming “The Deep End”.  What is the Deep End, you ask?  Well, generally it is the part of the pool that people who don’t know how to swim and midgets die in, but here on TLBC it is our friend Mango’s very own special section of the board.  And by special section of the board I mean category.  In this category, Mango will provide you retards with movie/book/music/porn/etc reviews, as well as whatever else pops into his shiny head.  Once Mango gets “The Deep End” up and running you can keep tabs on it by clicking on the “The Deep End” category in the category list at the top right of the page.

If you have any questions/complaints about Mango’s musings leave a comment in his posts, alternatively you can email the site at thelastbraincell@gmail.com, where there is a 100% chance that I will ignore you.

I would still totally do the hell out of Jennifer Aniston.  She’s got a wicked body and looks like she’d be pretty damn wild in the bedroom region.  But I’m not quite sure she is Bond girl material.  The Daily Mail:

For Jennifer Aniston, age really is no boundary.
She’s dating a man nine years her junior and now she’s chasing a film role usually reserved for rising young actresses almost half her age.
The star, who rang in her 40th birthday last month, has revealed she has her eyes set on being a Bond girl.
She told Elle magazine: ‘I get offered funny, quirky, pretty roles. I’d love to do an action movie. James Bond. Glamour. Daniel Craig. S**t-loads of fun.’

Yea, no.  Jennifer is not slouch in the beauty department, but she is not outrageously hot, or an exotic beauty by any means.  The latest Bond girl, Olga Kurylenko, bitchslaps her five ways from Sunday (what does that saying mean?  I thought there was only one way from Sunday — Monday) when it comes to looks.  Olga is insanely hot, an exotic beauty, and insanely hot.  Like, she starts buildings on fire, hot.  And I’m not entirely sure that Jennifer could take the reigns as a female action lead.  Her repertoire thus far has generally consisted of craptastic romantic comedies, and more craptastic romantic comedies.  That doesn’t exactly scream, “Gun-toting femme fatale.”

Here are some pictures of Aniston in Elle, and Olga in GQ and Maxim so you can contrast and compare.

Apparently, it’s Maxim Day here on Brain Cell.  Anywho, here’s the video from when Audrina Patridge was being all hot and bothered in a bikini in that one issue from some time before I wrote this.

If you remember, the other day I became infatuated with Elisha Dushku’s boobs.  So imagine how many hobos I killed out of sheer excitement when I learned that Maxim’s video recording machine challenged her boobs to a duel.  If you also remember, I already did a post on this exact subject, but this one has a video, so shut the hell up.

I have absolutely no idea who Danneel Harris is (except for being the girl from the Harold & Kumar movie), but after taking a gander at these Maxim pics, I feel as though I should delve deeper into her career so that my penis may fully appreciate her.

If you want to explore Danneel’s career further, you can navigate yourself to the extremely NSFW video of her having some sex in the movie Ten Inch Hero at the link after the pictures.  I’d recommend it, she shags like a minx.

All of my life I’ve dreamed of being a fire hydrant, but I may have to give this Maxim photographer gig a second thought.  I’m fairly certain that photographing Eliza Dushku frolicking around in lingerie would be much better than having a fireman violently open parts of my body, and then shove a large hose into it…  Stop being gay.

Top 5 Yankee Stadium Moments.  (Bush League)

In case you were wondering how to buy lingerie, Jayde Nicole is here to help.  (Spike)

Maxim was kind enough to throw together the Most Gratuitous Horror Movie Nude Scenes.  (Maxim)

Further proof that Rich People are dicks.  Unless of course I become rich, than we are cool.  (Cracked)

Jamie Lynne Spears‘ breast-feeding pictures have turned into a federal porn investigation.  Dun-da-da-dun-da-da-dun-dun-dun.  (IDLYITW)

George Michael likes crack.  The police do not.  (The Superficial)

Doutzen Kroes, the newest Victoria’s Secret Angel, goes to to the beach.  You can now boil eggs of the coast of Miami.  (WWTDD)

Another Break Gallery.  Hooray.  (Break)

Jessica Simpson’s ass says hello.  It probably should’ve gone to the gym first.  (Egotastic)

Retailers in the UK have started Metallica’s Death Magnetic a day ahead of schedule.  Unfortunately, I live on the opposite side of that big expanse of water.  (Ultimate Guitar)

Jenna Dewan decides a bikini is proper sleeping attire.  Ladies, take note.  (WWTDD)

The 10 Hottest ESPN News Reporters.  Erin Andrews wins any day of the week.  (Uncoached)

The 10 Hottest Female Twins of all time.  (Unibrow)

This is the first I have heard of Farabe Cottingham, which wouldn’t be so tragic if she wasn’t she friggin’ hot.  (Gorillamask)

Oh happy days!  Break has unleashed another gallery.  (Break)

Maxim recycles old Megan Fox photos; no one complains.  (Popoholic)

Gina Gershon does Sarah Palin wearing a bikini that comes with a gun (See: Gina Gershon is hot).  (Funny or Die)