Richland County Sheriff Leon Lott has decided to drop the case of the century and focus on less important things.  Things like murder, rape, armed robbery, kidnapping, ya know, everyday stuff.  People:

Richland County sheriff Leon Lott announced earlier Monday that a nearly two-week investigation had failed to produce enough evidence to prosecute anyone present at a November party at the University of South Carolina, where the photo was taken.

Who wants to wager with me that Michael Phelps will smoke himself retarded in the next couple of weeks?  Mexican Cartels are holding parades in the streets.

Man, why they gotta be harshing on Phelps’ mellow?  People;

“We originally built the relationship with Michael, as well as the other Olympic athletes, to support our association with the U.S. Olympic team,” a company spokeswoman says in a statement. “Michael’s most recent behavior is not consistent with the image of Kellogg. His contract expires at the end of February and we have made a decision not to extend his contract.”

In Michael Phelps’ defense, he’s an idiot.  Now, I don’t give a shit if anyone does drugs, because they’re awesome it’s not my business, but Michael really should’ve realized that companies who are paying him in hookers dipped in gold wouldn’t take too kindly to something that has such a negative social stigma.  It’s like Catholic priests saying, “What,” when they’re caught with an alter boy licking their taint.

Tater Salad was arrested by Vero Beach, FL authorities yesterday for possession of marijuana.  The evidence was subsequently smoked lost.  TMZ reports:

Vero Beach FL cops took the funnyman into custody for possession of marijuana, under 20 grams. He was also booked on possession of drug paraphernalia.

He was released after posting a $1,000 bond

Good thing our nation’s law enforcement is spending our hard-earned tax dollars busting these vicious criminals.  7-Elevens will no longer have to live in fear of late-night munchie runs.