According to my team of Weeble Wobble villagers intelligence officers, Megan Fox is currently engaging in an effort to conquer every country on the planet by simply showing up. It’s a known fact that nobody can resist her unnatural beauty, and whenever she enters a room everyone crumbles into bumbling idiots. No one is safe. [...]

It’s nice to see that Megan has taken after one of the greatest geniuses of our time, Heather Graham, and decided that bras are silly. It’s also nice to see that Megan thought that a curtain was a good choice for a dress. I couldn’t agree more. I don’t think it’s possible for her to [...]

I’m sure a few of you saw the title of this post and thought that Megan was engaged in some sort of lesbian sexfest with Paris Hilton, but we all know that Megan is classier than that. No, she doesn’t mind kickin’ it with the ladies every now and then, but I’m pretty sure she’s [...]

And by “sucking” I meant gently nibbling on it, which as it turns out is even sexier. Anywho, I was going to go on a long tangent about how this could be construed into one or more sexual innuendos, but I figured you people are perverted enough to do it yourselves. Also, it’s Friday and [...]

Damn, Heather needs to make more movies. If things keep going this route she should be naked by her third premiere. Also, if that diagram I sent to her publicist works out, Heather should be in my room by midnight. The post office man said I was a jackass because I had written everything in [...]