Rob Schneider confirmed yesterday that he was indeed pregnant, and that the father was Amy Winehouse. In an interview Schneider said he was “Just thrilled that [his] baby will be a mutant” and further added “This could really be a [massive] career boost for me, and for Amy, although I am still filing a [...]

Hollywood’s resident ‘Town Drunk’ whose tits you’d still really like to play with has reportedly been fired the anti-romantic comedy (what the fuck is a anti-romantic comedy? A movie that is actually funny, not entirely predictable, and not unfathomably stupid? Isn’t that just called a comedy?) The Manson Girls for the movie’s failure [...]

Ah, Elisha Cuthbert, the gorgeous Girl Next Door who refused to show her magnificent body in all its naked glory, but let’s not focus on that travesty of humanity. Instead, let’s focus on the yo-yo effect Ms. Cuthbert has been having on my penis over the last couple of years. When I was [...]

John Mayer’s current penis garage is in Miami filming Marley & Me, a movie that apparently requires Jennifer Aniston to be in a bikini 93% of the time. My penis and I agree that this is one of the wisest film decisions ever made and will surely be held as a benchmark for today’s [...]