Sweet, virgin whore, that’s almost enough money to wisely invest in every hooker in Vegas.  TMZ reports:

First things first — Keifer Bonvillain was arrested two years ago after allegedly recording conversations he had with an O employee and then shopping the tapes around to publishers and tabloids.
The Feds ended up dismissing the case against Mr. Villain on the grounds he perform 50 hours community service, undergo drug testing and pay back $3,000 he took from a company looking to meet with him over the tapes.
Fast forward to the present, when Keifer filed the $180 million lawsuit claiming Oprah and an attorney made false statements that led to his arrest.

If I was being sued for $180m I would have jumped of every bridge in existence, twice.  I have a feeling Oprah will just brush this aside as some more noise from the common folk:

JEEVES: “Ms. Winfrey, there is a matter of large monetary importance.”

OPRAH: “Dammit, does the government need another loan?”

JEEVES: “No, Ma’am, the squirrely fellow with the wiretaps if suing you for $180 million.”

OPRAH: “What the hell is ‘million,’ is that, like, less than a billion?”

JEEVES: “…I”ll get you some sundaes.”

OPRAH: “Oh, goody!”

NOTE: Anybody else notice that dude’s name?  He ain’t winning shit.

A year ago, Lindsay Lohan got plowed (by alcohol, not penis) and jumped into some dudes’ car to chase down her personal assistant.  Turns out, that wasn’t such a good idea.  People reports:

The actress was “angry and aggressive” and the men “felt surprise, shock, fear and panic at Lohan’s surprising and sudden act” of allegedly commandeering a car in which they happened to be sitting to chase her personal assistant through the streets of Santa Monica, according to the lawsuit.
The plaintiffs – Ronnie Blake, Jakon Sutter and Dante Nigro – are seeking unspecified damages in the case, filed in Superior Court in Santa Monica.
Lohan’s attorney, Ed McPherson, tells TMZ.com the lawsuit is “absurd.”
“These guys had the night of their lives, playing with the radio and leaving the vehicle at one point and getting back in,” he says.

Allow me to commend this story by saying, “Ahahahahahaha.”  I’m not just laughing at Lindsay for having the intelligence level that a cotton swab could defeat — those three dudes could not come off any more as giant, pussy, bitch, douchebags.  I mean seriously, a drunk, hot, big-titted celebrity gets in your car and you cry like Rosie O’Donnell after the buffet gets closed down.  We all know Lindsay automatically stripped off her clothes just from being in the presence of multiple penises, and you sit there and have the nerve to tell us you were traumatized. Bunch of fairies.