Tom Brady & Gisele Bundchen got married

tom-brady-gisele-bundchen-married

That son of a bitch. People:

The New England Patriots quarterback and the Brazilian supermodel wed just before 6 p.m. at St. Monica’s church, less than a mile from the beach. Brady’s 1 ½ son, John Edward Thomas, was present at the wedding.
They followed the wedding with a small gathering at their Brentwood home.

OK, goddammit, the world’s ridiculously hot supermodels need to stop getting married. How the hell do you expect to whisk you away to a tropical paradise if I have to get by the New England Patriots? Huh? Gisele is insanely rich and has already been to that tropical paradise? Well, shit. Somebody get my collection of midgets started on a spaceship. We’ll see who traverses Gisele’s vulva after she’s been to the sunny beaches of Neptune.