Victoria Beckham’s nipples are really hard

Seriously, those things could cut diamonds. Frozen diamonds. Did you see what I did there? I emphasized that Posh’s nipples are so erect that they could cut an inconceivably hard diamond. What? Oh, I’m sorry, was that commentary not up to your standards? Would you like to do it? Fine, here, knock yourself out. I’ll be over here motorboating Posh’s tits… Oh god, my eye!